I actually had this post ready to send on Wednesday but our lovely internet connections kept me from doing that. I still figured I would post it anyways...
I'm Loving... all the new tv shows I've been streaming online... Hart of Dixie, The Client List, The Lying Games, Army Wives, and the end of Desperate Housewives!
I'm Loving... all the wedding planning I'm doing and that the day is finally coming soon!!!
I'm Loving... these new Body By Vi Shakes Marshall and I have been drinking everyday... we feel amazing!
I'm Loving... my amazing fiance... I still can't believe I'm marrying my best friend.
I'm Loving... my new precious niece Stella Marie!
I'm Loving... this yummy spicy sausage and pasta recipe I made for dinner. I needed something with few ingredients and could be modified...and this hit the spot!
I'm Loving... looking at pictures and activities of Thailand... we are going to have the best 3 weeks there!!
I'm Loving... all the african women that carry the huge baskets on their heads... they are not only beautiful, but strong and poised.
I'm Loving... that my two sisters and momma send me pictures daily so I don't miss anything of my nieces and nephews!! They can send a picture from their phone as a text message and instead of putting in a phone number, they put in my email address and it comes right into my email. LOVE it :)
I'm Loving... thinking about a job when we get back to the states...and actually having a purpose and a life!! :)
I'm Loving... the two little girls on Ellen... Sophia Grace and Rosie. Youtube them if you have never seen them. Adorable.
I'm Loving... that its Friday today and we are going with the marines for fish and chips! It will be good to get out for a bit!
I'm Loving... that I went to an art show here and met with one of the artists. I had him paint me a picture for half the price as the ones he was showing and I get to pick it up today!! Will post pictures tomorrow!!
This is Africa. But what is it really like? Does it mean living in a small hut in the middle of a dust field? Are there millions of homeless, sick children surrounding you at all times? How can your heart handle the despair? Your eyes the devastation? Is Jesus there... and if so, how can you prove it? See it?
Here is a little glimpse into my world for the moment. I'm writing this as I lay next to our pool. We live in a nice house with lots of locks, rooms, and bugs. My favorite spot though is outside, under the sweltering hot and humid African sun. A tall wall borders our compound and I can't see out. But what I do see is palm trees and these long branches of beautiful hot pink flowers. They border the top of the wall and are intertwined with the barb wire to keep us safe.
Our Home
It's a beautiful site. Sometimes when I am home all day, I forget we are in Africa. Well, until the power and internet go out for no reason.
You know when things start to frustrate you sometimes and the more it happens, the less likely to be forgiving you are?
I feel like I've been like that lately. I feel like I forget who I am sometimes and more importantly, who God calls me to be.
The deal here is people drive insanely wreckless and crazy. They cause so many accidents by driving head on into traffic, so they can avoid miles of stopped cars. They make lanes to the left and right 3 cars deep across to pass you, and then want to cut in front. So your anger rises quickly at times.
This is just a 2 lane road and they pass on both sides!
They go the wrong direction on the wrong side... its just a disaster!
You also can't go anywhere without everyone wanting money. Because you are white, you are "rich" and in a lot of their minds, entitled to give them something. I know it's a tough life here for them and they have to do whatever they can to survive. I do get that...
But it doesn't make it any less frustrating day after day.
And then you just have your random annoyances. Lack of food product availability (like not even really getting milk!) Lack of language. Lack of convenience. Lack of reliable connections and communication.
You cope and make do, but sometimes you can radiate an "arghhhh" about life. I hate that I've done this lately!
My pictures are all blurry because I've only taken them while driving... but hopefully soon I'll be able to get out and capture some great shots!
But as I was sitting here listening to the birds chirp and watching the lizards run around, I heard something magical.
Breathtaking and soul capturing...
I heard an open air church service somewhere outside our walls... They were singing. Worshipping our Lord with the song "Breathe" by Michael W. Smith.
I recognized it because I know that song. I've sung it fifty times... only they were singing in another language. Something I couldn't understand or decipher. But my heart joined them. I got on my knees, closed my eyes, and was united in giving God thanks.
Thanks for giving us a home and safety in a country that is dangerous. For food even if it's weird and different, but that we have something to eat when everyday... we pass children begging on the streets. They do this hand motion where they bunch up their fingers and draw their hands to their mouths.
They really have no food.
I can't ignore this tugging on my heart and the sweet words in that song that say "I'm lost without you... I'm desperate for you."
It's true. Without Jesus' constant presence in my life I am lost. I'm not myself either. I get more irritable and grumpy. I get frustrated when people want money... even when they may not have had a meal in days. :(
I guess what I'm saying is I don't know about you, but I can't do it on my own. I 100% need God in my life at all times. His grace and love. Compassion and mercy. He adores this country, and so do I. The beauty in its simplicity. The love and community between neighbors, and how their hearts draw to Him. It's been over 4 hours that I've been listening to these Ivorians worship outside and they are still going. I think its about time I do the same. Worship Him through prayer for the hungry children that surround me. Ask Him to bring peace back into a country that last year was destroyed by war and bloodshed. And for my own patience when I can't read food labels, the internet goes down, or people cut us off.
Because the reality is, life will always circle around us in a crazy spiral. The only way to stand firm is to be rooted. Firm. Solid. Devoted. In Jesus.
Yes, this is Africa. And although the poverty, war's, and disease's devastate me, I am certain that Jesus is here and deeply rooted in so many hearts.
Because sometimes when you have nothing or feel like you don't know where to turn... you can grasp for Him. Always. He will be there. I just wish sometimes I didn't wait so long or til my patience grew thin. I'm a work in progress... I know this. Thank goodness He is already sold out for us... and that His grace and love will never waiver.
I love the verse that says...
Luke 6:20-21 “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.”
This reassures my heart that God also has a great plan for many of the Africans we meet. We love them and care deeply... And I vow to love and help them as much as I can while we are here!
Deuteronomy 15:7 “If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother.”
